March 5, 2012: Paranoia at work…

Today started out pretty good — I will give it that. I got a full 8 hours of sleep last night and woke up feeling refreshed. I took my vitamins and ate breakfast about 6:00 A.M., and set off on my journey back to western Oklahoma for work.

I was feeling energetic, happy, and refreshed.

… until I walked into my office.

They Know

I forgot to mention in earlier posts that I actually did end up telling two of my coworkers about my HIV status. One was a 35-year-old female production supervisor, and the other is a male (straight) writer about my age.

I’m not stupid. I knew that at least one of them would go running their mouth to others in the office about what was wrong with me.

March 4, 2012: Recap of the past few weeks…

As of the day that I am writing this, it’s been more than a month since my HIV diagnosis, and around three weeks since my breakup with Tom.

Today has been a good day. It’s Saturday, and I find myself blogging from my parents’ house in Oklahoma City. As I have done each weekend for months now, I came up last night (Friday) and plan on staying until tomorrow morning (Monday) before driving back to western Oklahoma for work.

In my previous post, I left off at my breakup with Tom, my ex-boyfriend. Life since then has been hard, but it’s getting better.

A Psychological Disease

I’ve started realizing something: as dangerous and life-threatening as HIV itself may be, it’s a maintainable disease and I may in fact be physically healthy for decades to come.

Yet, what the MDs and HIV Specialists can never convey to you is the intense psychological impact of a HIV/AIDS diagnosis.

January/February 2012: The month from Hell…

A bright light appeared in my life right after New Year’s weekend.

Tom — who lived in Oklahoma City — was completely different from any guy I had ever dated: he was religious, family-oriented, and best of all… my age! He lived a very laid-back, reserved lifestyle shockingly reminiscent of what my own life had once been. He was attractive, funny, and caring.

We would talk for hours about everything: important world issues, cooking, past experiences, hopes and dreams, and how much we liked each other.

After a few dates the first two weeks of January, we began dating… officially. I was happy. I felt a long-term relationship within my grasp, and I was ready to take it into my arms and never let go.

I was traveling from western Oklahoma to Oklahoma City every other day, splitting my time between visits with him and visits with my parents.